The first real day I spend outside my subterranean lair and despite my SPF 5000 sunscreen I still fried like a fork in the microwave. I think from now on I will leave the outdoors to my minions. It isn't that I don't like the outside world, it is just that I am convinced nature is trying to kill me. I even saw some rattlesnakes, which is odd this far north. Bah, it does not matter. I must plan my revenge on that snooty highschool park attendant who demanded I remove any fermented beverages from the public park.